Now, okay, I'm going to be honest here and say I was never a huge fan of the Samurai Shodown series, though admittedly it was just something you can't get past, being a fighting game buff like myself. The fighting system in all the iterations of the series was a bit Marmite to say the least, but since so many people seem to adore it, I guess it deserves its fair kudos and a pat on the shoulder from me as well. More likely so because it was one of the only series, even surpassing Street Fighter in that aspect, that had never really made the jump to 3D, h which had proven the death sentence for many a franchise before. Admittedly, there was one dysmally failed experiment on the PSX which I had never played, so I guess I couldn't be all too biased when news of Samurai Shodown Sen hit me. Though I was fully aware the game most probably didn't stand a chance against all the next-gen goodness, I decided to give it a red-hot go, and oh boy did I ever.

With a total of 26 playable characters on the roster (24 + 2 unlockable bosses), I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that a sizeable roster doesn't necessarily make for a better game. Among others, BlazBlue has proven that without questioning. However, numbers like this tend to get people's hopes up. So far up in fact, that they come crashing down once you get past the menu screens.

From start-up the game looks fairly well-presented. Seeing how we're dealing with SNK, the average newcomer would probably have to get past the pidgeon English, but navigating the menus is not an unpleasant experience by any stretch of the imagination. The game seems to have everything going for it that a next-gen fighter should: Arcade, Survival, Versus, Practice and Xbox Live doodads. So far, so good, aye? Pick yourself a character from the nicely designed character roster, watch the little cutscene with some delightful Japanese dribble about warrior's destiny and blah blah blah and let's get to chopping each other up. No... it can't be... oh dear God, no!

Yes, every illusion of this game being decent is eliminated before your very eyes once you behold the game's ghastly aweful looking graphics. I don't think I overexaggerate one bit when I claim that Sen is positively one of the ugliest games I've seen on the 360. And the romp down Misery Lane doesn't stop there. The fighting system basically disencourages you to try and become good at it, as mastering combos doesn't do a lick of good because of the ridiculous damage scaling. You find yourself training, only to discover that matches against the CPU turn into blockfests where you wait for openings to administer two or three slashes that drain your opponent of their health.

Review: Battle Master (SFC)

Somehow, this reviewer is not too surprised that Battle Master never did make it out of Japan. This deadly mediocre brawler, developed by Invictus and published by Toshiba EMI in 1993, is yet another flawed attempt to cash in on the vastly more succesful Street Fighter II. Though we have seen way more obvious ripoffs in the past, this game succeeds in "borrowing" a huge amount of elements from its benefactor and manages to get away with it. The fact Battle Master was, by all accounts, not exactly a very popular game probably has something to do with that feat. But talk, as we say, is cheap. So let's go and play the blighter then.

When we notice the start-up screen, one cannot help but think how gamers these days are spoiled with all kinds of modes and options to significantly lengthen a game's natural lifespan. There are no frills attached to this one: 1-player, 2-player and options. That's it. Since, quite understandably, my friends aren't stupid enough to come over and play this with me, I opt for the 1-player mode without changing the options just yet. Let's see how hard this game is supposed to be straight out of the factory.

Not very hard, is the answer to that. The person who sold me the game was kind enough to explain me everything about how the AI just can't seem to handle certain moves and told me to toy around with it. I did, and found an AI breaker in less than 5 minutes. Since I like to keep people guessing, because I'm a bugger that way, I'll leave the figuring out of broken moves to my readers. I can still guarantee you, it's not too hard to find at all.

Controls are quite responsive for any game that falls under the "poor man's Street Fighter II" category. Special moves only rarely ever refuse to come out, despite of some weird and unintuitive commands such as "hold punch, then press any direction and release". For reasons completely unknown to me, sometimes a move will take off a huge chunk of lifebar or barely do any damage at all (and I'm talking a difference of 40-50% with certain moves here). There is definitely some sort of system to it since the game doesn't pick damage randomly, but I've yet to figure out how it all fits in together, seeing how there's no super meter or anything similar to fill up and show you how powerful your attack will be. For now, I'll guess it has something to do with the amount of damage you take, since at times I - quite satisfyingly - pulled off a single move that turned a rather one-sided fight around completely and killed the opponent in a single 60% hit.

Graphically, Battle Master manages not to disappoint. Despite a few obvious glitches and occasional slowdown, the game actually plays quite fluently. Not much to say in terms of music either: it didn't exactly blow me away, but it didn't torture my eardrums like many other fighting games of the day. All in all, the game is quite well-presented despite just being another Street Fighter II clone, albeit one that plays a lot more like an SNK fighter.

Most clones of the day would actually be a carbon copy of Street Fighter II in terms of character design or overall gameplay. Battle Master, however, can be more closely defined as an SNK game with Street Fighter gravy poured over the top.

This mostly boils down to uninspirational character design overall. Syoh, the game's protagonist character, is all too reminiscent of Ryu/Ken/Ryo/Dan or however you'd want to call him. His design is that of a disgustingly generic male ninja from some late eighties anime series, but his moves don't fool anyone. Fireballs, uppercuts, you name it. Except for the spin kick, it's pretty much all there. Watts AKA "the obligatory big powerhouse character" is quite obviously Zangief in a punk outfit, with more 360 piledrivers and air splashes than you could possibly ask for. With the weirdly named Body, they even manage to rip off two characters from the Street Fighter universe at once: wearing a copy of M. Bison's dictatorial garments, he uses his Dhalsim-like stretchy limbs to nudge the opponent away from significant distances. Thought you'd get away with all that without anyone noticing? Naughty fibbers.

And there we have it, the poor man's Street Fighter II, that actually plays more like Fatal Fury. A game that definitely doesn't get a pass today, but definitely isn't too bad considering it was released in 1993, back when the Mortal Kombat series was still only starting out to capitalize on the never before seen success of Capcom's pioneering one-on-one brawler. For a Super Famicom exclusive that never made it out of the Land of the Rising Sun, Battle Master at least deserves some credit for being a game that's at least finishable and does what it says on the package. Definitely no more, but admittedly also no less.

Fighting game collection so far!

The Last Blade
The Last Blade 2 (double)
Arcana Hearts
ClayFighter: Tournament Edition
Clayfighter 63 1/3
Street Fighter IV
Super Street Fighter IV
BlazBlue: Continuum Shift
Virtua Fighter 5
Dead or Alive 4
Battle Master
Project Justice
Rival Schools
Darkstalkers 3
Resurrection: Rise 2
Samurai Shodown Sen
Capcom vs. SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium 2001 (PS2 x2, DC x1)
Street Fighter II
Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
Street Fighter II: Champion Edition
Super Street Fighter II
Street Fighter III: 3^rd Strike
Street Fighter: The Movie
Hyper Street Fighter II
Street Fighter
Bloody Roar 3
Bloody Roar 4
Bushido Blade
Mortal Kombat Trilogy (platinum + black label)
Battle Arena Toshinden 4
Tekken 3
Tekken Tag Tournament
Tekken 5
Tekken 6
Dead or Alive
Dead or Alive 2
Dead or Alive 3
Bloody Roar
SoulBlade
Shaq Fu (MD + SNES)
Brutal: Paws of Fury
Rise of the Robots
Cho Aniki
Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3
Fighters Megamix
Guilty Gear X
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
King of Fighters 2000
King of Fighters XII
Virtua Fighter Kids
Fighting Vipers
Art of Fighting
Fatal Fury
Fatal Fury Special
Samurai Shodown
King of Fighters ’94
King of Fighters ‘95
King of Fighters ‘96
King of Fighters ‘97
King of Fighters ‘98
King of Fighters ‘99
King of Fighters 2002
Virtua Fighter 4
Street Fighter EX 3
World Heroes
World Heroes 2
World Heroes 2 Jet
World Heroes Perfect
Evil Zone
Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha
Battle Fantasia
Soulcalibur IV
Rakuga Kids
Naruto: The Broken Bond
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
SoulCalibur
Soulcalibur II
Soulcalibur III
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat: Deception
Mortal Kombat: Armageddon
Dragonball Z: Budokai 2
Dragonball Z: Budokai 3
Super Street Fighter II Turbo
Spectral vs. Generation
Street Fighter Alpha
Street Fighter Alpha 2
Street Fighter Alpha 2 Gold
Street Fighter Alpha 3
Super Gem Fighter
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom
Yie Ar Kung Fu
Garou: Mark of the Wolves
King of Fighters ’98: Ultimate Match
Marvel vs. Capcom 2
NeoGeo Battle Colisseum
Super Street Fighter II HD Remix
Hokuto No Ken 7
Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds
ClayFighter: Sculptor's Cut
Marvel vs. Capcom
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom
Mortal Kombat (2011)

Back in the early nineties, versus fighters the likes of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were all the rage in arcades. Capcom, who had only fairly recently landed an undisputed smash hit with Street Fighter II, had a tight grasp on the market and both SNK and Midway were following in its wake with a fair few succesful releases.

And then... there was Sammy. This indie Japanese developer - which later merged with Sega - saw it as its task to produce the next big thing on the fighting game market. Or they quite possibly just saw Mortal Kombat and wanted to rip it off completely.

Survival Arts was quite erm... "different" from anything anyone had ever played. Its gore factor ensured it was a major crowd pleaser back in those days, which is difficult to comprehend for audiences spoilt rotten by 20 years of sweet Mortal Kombat lovin'.

The plot summary, in lovely Chinglish as always, is as follows:

"The birthplace and how the series of physical martial arts with a great deal of force called "Survival Arts" were earned became mysterious for quite of some time. However, eight warriors spreading over different countries have learned some of the most important skills of Survival Arts, while they continue learning more about it. Each one qualified for the Survival Arts tournament to see which survivor will win and obtain all the secrets of Survival Arts."

What you probably won't be able to make up from this without actually playing the game, is that everyone is basically fighting each other to avoid having their souls eaten by an evil man in a cape that looks like Richard Simmons' and Brian May's bastard lovechild.

So yes, the plot isn't going to win any awards, but however lame it is, it does seem somewhat "inspired" by that of many a Mortal Kombat title. True as that may be, the gameplay is mostly based on the fighting system of "special move focused" fighters such as Street Fighter II. That, and you definitely can't accuse the good people at Sammy to not having been creative with their character designs. A lot of the fighters in this game seem to have been the product of a horrible acid flashback and programmed into the game immediately after the crystal meth really started to do its nasty business.

Surprisingly though, despite all its obvious flaws, Survival Arts is actually quite playable. Controls are amazingly responsive and animations are fluid. I recommend giving this a try to anyone who's into their cheesy fighters.

Street Fighter: a review

Street Fighter, hmm, isn’t it? Hm? Small hadokens in the park, shoryukens for goalposts? Yes, we all know it’s arguably still the most popular fighting game franchise in the world, what with all the updates to updates to remixes and two of the most horrid film spinoffs known to man. The problem is everyone seems to forget it didn’t all begin with the glory that is Street Fighter II. Basic logic deduction tells us that if there was a sequel, there had to have been an original. Strangely, only a select few fans of the series seems to have actually sat down and played the first one, so a “nice” reviewer would probably say it’s faded away into obscurity and has been forgotten throughout the course of history. A realistic reviewer, however, would say it has been wiped from collective memory because it’s a load of old shite.

Part one in the series introduces a few characters that would prove to be a mainstay in later installments. Ryu and Ken are obviously there, but let’s not forget about big British bouncer Birdie (I can alliterate nay further Cap’n!), Gen, Adon and Sagat. A long time ago, back when fighting games didn’t have need for a complicated storyline, Ryu – looking suspiciously like a spotty ginger teen from such cinematographic masterpieces like Porky’s - went to face some people with the sole objective of handing their backside such a booting their grandchildren wouldn’t be able to sit down from it. That’s it, just straight into the hoo-hah, no fussing about with silly things like storylines.

So far, so good you might assume. Sadly, the part where Street Fighter really takes a hairpin turn for the worse is the gameplay. You can perform punches or kicks in their light, medium and heavy variety and Ryu also has the hadoken, shoryuken and tatsumaki (affectionately known as “the wheel kick thingy”) at his disposal. However, actually coaxing the special moves to come out of near-permanent hiding is another issue entirely. Having no problem spamming the living hell out of ye olde dragon punch in any game since part 2? Well, prepare for some masochistic enjoyment if you ever decide to lay your hands on its predecessor.

Indeed, you’ll be hammering the light punch button profusely to make any sort of special move come out in this game. As they do disgustingly huge amounts of damage, it’s no surprise actually pulling off a special move in the original Street Fighter was the 1989 equivalent of landing a sick combo in Mortal Kombat 3 and finishing off your opponent with a Fatality. The inputs are so ridiculously precise you’ll have more luck getting in Gemma Atkinson’s pants and finding a winning lottery ticket in there than actually being able to do these on a consistent basis.

The overall silliness continues at the end of every match, where the opponent either taunts you or concedes defeat in the most convoluted sound quality ever to violently have its way with your eardrums. Chinglish meets alien meets Borat would arguably be the most fitting description for it, and “downing a shot when anyone laughs out loud” is a luminous idea for a drinking game (albeit more and more intensive as alcohol consumption goes on) when playing this game with a few mates in attendance.

Now, how to judge this game. Is it shit? Yes. Should it have been made in the first place? Well yes. In despite of every naughty four letter word I can utter about it in my motivated ranting and raving, we are still dearly indebted to it. Without it, the greatest fighting game franchise of all time would’ve never seen the light of day. This confused reviewer might not be able to understand why this game was fairly successful in the first place, but he sure is well chuffed it was.

“Yoo have a lawt to learn befo' yoo beat mee. Twy again keed!”

A warm welcome to new readers

Hello and whatnot.

Thursday June 10th, 2010 marks a historic day indeed, as I create a blog because I'm bored and should - in fact - be writing a paper. No matter, I'll try and keep my new brainchild fat and happy with regular updates such as reviews, columns about gaming in general and the occasional picture of my collection.

I hope you'll enjoy reading my entries as much as I'll enjoy not studying while typing them up.

Merry Kwanzaa!